A few weeks ago a friend of mine sent me an article written by a mom complaining about being a mom. It’s easy to do. I do it a lot.
This mom was saying how she gets really annoyed when she is out with her screaming kids and someone, inevitably an old person, says to her, “Enjoy them while they last. They grow up so fast!” I loved the article, it was funny and smart and while I was reading it I completely agreed with her sentiment. But I have thought a lot about it since then and have realized that I DON’T actually share her sentiment. I guess in my heart I am a little old lady because I know they grow up fast and I am kind of obsessed with it. Truly, I do try to enjoy every second of it. I really really do.
Well, obviously, it is not possible to enjoy your kids EVERY second because kids can be totally unenjoyable horrible.
A lot.
My daughter, for example, is what you would call a “strong-willed child.” She was the perfect baby for the first two weeks of her life. I mean PERFECT. She was pink and fat and snuggly and SHE NEVER MADE A SOUND. I couldn’t believe that I had given birth to such chubby perfection. And then on day 15, it was like she woke from a 14-day VALIUM COMA. She was pissed. She started screaming and trying to tear my face off and then pretty much stayed like that until about 3 months ago. Now, she is much sweeter. But really, for a while, I was considering boarding a plane to South America with nothing but a passport, a wig, and some Midol.
So yea, despite all that I actually do try to enjoy my kids because I am totally obsessed with them growing older and not needing me anymore. They are going to have to pry my nasty wrinkly old fingers off of their little faces when they go to college. Or maybe not. Maybe by then, I will be so sick of them that I will give them a set of luggage for their graduation gift like my parents did. Yea, I got that message, and it was not “Oh, please stay.”
I am sure I am not the only parent that over-thinks everything. I ruin plenty of great moments for myself by thinking, “this is so cute, I don’t ever want this moment to end. Because the very next moment, they may be dating and smoking pot and listening to music that I think is total crap.” There have to be other people like me out there, right?
I mean, when some little old lady tells me to “enjoy them” while I am in line at Target, my first thought is, “Jesus, I do not want to get old.” (obviously) But my second thought is, “You’re right. they do grow up fast. And even though my two-year-old is gnawing through a package of cheese and my eight-year-old is knocking things off shelves in a light-saber duel with a mannequin, I love the little bastards and I want them to stay like this forever. FOREVER!!!”
Now, I do agree with the article’s main point. Which was, stop trying to be perfect and to make every moment meaningful and scrap-book every booger they pick out of their nasty face. Because THAT I can totally get behind. NOT being the perfect mom. I have that covered. Sometimes I am a really bad mom. Sometimes I yell.
Other times I yell really stupid stuff like, “STOP YELLING!!!!” or “I swear to god, if you do that again I will SHAVE YOUR HEAD!!!” And sometimes when they are jabbering on and on about something I will only pretend to listen. Because I am thinking of something far more important like “When the hell is Mad Men starting again? Did I miss the first episode? I should go check. I don’t want to miss it, so I’ll check…”And just yesterday I cleaned my daughter’s feet with Windex. Yea, you heard me, WINDEX.
So what is my point? My point is, that while I know it is impossible to enjoy every moment with my kids, I think it is sweet when a little old lady tells me, “they grow up so fast.” Because they do. And hers did. So she knows. So I try. And I often fail. But when I succeed, it is wonderful. I DO enjoy them. Sometimes even when they are being total a-holes.